Friday, May 30, 2008


Well my beta today was 6. Yes, just 6. The first positive test I had was 5 days after the transfer. So at that point my HCG had to be at least 15-20 to be picked up on a test. For it to be lower now means I had a chemical pregnancy. That's where the embryo implants and tries to grow, but something stops it from growing.

I've never had any kind of loss before, so for my first one to be someone else's potential children really makes me sad. If the embryos stopped growing, that means that there was something not quite right with them, but its still sad to know that those 2 embies are gone. Telling M the bad news was harder than I thought it would be. In fact, I couldn't even call her, I had to email her. I was crying when I called Chris to tell him so I knew I couldn't keep it together if I talked to her on the phone.

I was just so sure I was pregnant. And apparently I was, but only for a brief time. I have a re-draw on Monday where they will confirm the end of the pregnancy and will have me stop all of my meds. My period should return within a few days to a week or so afterwards.

And then we try again. And we'll try it again and again until we get it right. The end product is all that matters...a healthy baby or two for M&B.

Tomorrow we are celebrating Quinn's 2nd birthday. I had forgotten all about it since I've been so preoccupied lately. Luckily he's so young that he wont notice that he doesn't get a big party like Ian did for his birthday. We're going to the Mall of America, to the themepark inside (Nickelodeon Universe), and then to Rainforest Cafe for dinner. He'll have a good time, even though he will only get to ride a few of the rides. :)

Well the beta has come and gone. Now I can stop obsessing about it, and move on from here. Next time I wont be taking any tests. I will wait for the beta. I've learned my lesson!

1 comment:

Deana said...

I am so sorry!!!!!!for you and M&B. :(
I didn't have a good appt. either. sigh..............IF is so hard, for both IM and GS.

Big hugs.